This past weekend a good friend came over for lunch at my house. Now that we are both vaccinated, it was nice to finally be able to hang out together, hug, and not wear masks. Somehow in the conversation she commented on how nice it was that we connect to each other so regularly.
I reluctantly told her how I was making sure we were staying connected.
Ever since COVID forced me and everyone else into this locked down, work-from-home-and-don’t-go-anywhere mode a year ago, I found myself feeling really isolated and disconnected from my friends. Prior to March of 2020 (which was when I coincidentally moved 45 miles south of my long-time residence), I attended several social events a month, plus setup dinners and lunches with friends on a regular basis.
All of that came to a screeching halt 13 months ago.
By the time December 2020 rolled around—as I was addressing my holiday cards—I realized how much I missed seeing my friends. Posting on Instagram and Facebook just wasn’t cutting it!
So, I took a page from my business life and started a quasi-project list.
On a piece of paper, I made a list of those friends and family who I consider my closest and dearest connections. (Disclaimer: I am an over-the-top extrovert, so my list includes around 25-30 people.) You can read more about that process . . . [Here]
Then, across the top of the page, I wrote the names of the months: January, February, March, etc. As I go through each month, I glance at the list and see how I’m doing about creating and maintaining a connection.
When I started in January, it was not until the end of the month that I glanced at the list. I did not have many “checks” on my list, so I immediately made a few phone calls, and sent a few texts. I put a bright red check by each persons’ name when I connected with them.
In February, I was better about glancing at my list earlier in the month and was reminded it was time to “check in” with some of my friends who I had not spoken with. At that time, only I was fully vaccinated, so I knew most of my friends would not be ready to meet in person.
But, by mid-March, I started sending texts and emails similar to this: “Hey! I am fully vaccinated, how about you? Would love to get together when you feel comfortable.” It was so fun to meet a friend at a nearby patio restaurant to have lunch together. Others told me when they would be fully vaccinated and we started planning for the day we would be able to meet up in person.
This past weekend was the first time I had a friend come to my house! The night before, we had dinner with two other couples at a friend’s home.
It was like old times.
How is it going for you? Are you fully vaccinated? Or is that date coming soon? Are you wondering how best to approach your friends and family who might be hesitant to get together after a year of being isolated? I found that a text message suggesting you are ready “when they are comfortable” is a gentle way to nudge someone. Not too pushy, but suggestive.
So, make a list. After a year of not seeing people in person, you may need the reminder to meet up with those “regular connection” people. Or the folks you are just jonesing to see.
My goal is to set up one or two in-person meetings each week, plus phone calls. Maybe we start with a during-the-week lunch with a friend near the office, and then brunch or dinner on the weekend with someone who lives closer to my home. It’s like I am easing back into my normal social life.
I know it may sound a little too businesslike to make reconnecting with your family and friends a project. But I found it actually made me feel more comfortable … and more connected.
Reconnecting with those closest to you can be the anecdote to feeling isolated and fearful. Let me know how it goes for you!
Karen
