Whether or not we are in sales, we have customers. If we’re a business owner – we clearly have external customers. But in our personal lives, we have customers too: we call them internal customers. AKA our spouses, kids, siblings, etc.
Especially with the holidays right around the corner, most of us will be spending a good portion of time with our families, friends and extended family.
And, unfortunately, we’ve all heard of instances where there are misunderstandings or misinterpretations at these gatherings.
So, I’d like to use a few things from our business playbook to make your family time more enjoyable.
In business, when we have a customer, we go to great lengths to understand their needs and wants. Or at least we should be doing this. The best way to better understand them is to ask them questions and listen carefully to what they answer.
If you are considering developing a new product or pack size, the best salespeople or business owners have listening sessions with their clients to find out what their wants, needs and desires are. It saves so much time and money to find out ahead of time that your biggest customer will not add a new product to their purchases, unless they remove one. By asking well thought out and strategic questions, you can learn so much about your customers, their company philosophy and any mandates.
Many years ago, I frequently heard “your price is too high” from clients. After some sales training, I learned not to take that objection at face value, and began to ask “what do you mean by that?” What I learned shocked me: My client’s boss had set a policy that they could not purchase anything that was over a certain price point ($40 at that time). His objection had nothing to do with my price, but rather his boss had set a ceiling on all purchases. So, after uncovering that objection, the customer and I agreed that I would only offer them products that were below $40 in cost. My customer was so appreciative that instead of trying to sell him harder, I was sensitive to his predicament.
So, what about your internal customers? They can be coworkers, spouses, family members or friends. How many times do you find them pushing back or being negative about your idea? Do you assume that they just don’t like the idea?
What if you found a way to ask a clarifying question whenever you get an objection?
When your spouse says they don’t want to attend a work event with you – how about asking them what it is about the event they don’t like? Who knows – it may turn out that they have a scheduling conflict, or a big project due the next day, vs. they don’t like your boss or coworkers.
When your coworker says they think your idea for a holiday gift exchange is a bad idea – perhaps ask them to “tell you more” about it. I had one employee at my company who confided in me that she could not afford the money to participate in a holiday gift exchange, which I never would have known without gently inquiring. It actually caused me to make it optional for all my team members to participate, with no judgement.
And what if your spouse or family member seems hesitant to attend a family holiday gathering? How about gently asking them what is their hesitation? I learned that some of my family members don’t like large crowds, or all the once-a-year questioning about their life and work, and others are uncomfortable about the potential for heated discussions about the recent election.
I would never have known any of this, without gently asking about their feedback and opinion and being open to whatever they have to say.
So, as you gear up for the upcoming 6 weeks of holiday craziness, score a few extra points for yourself and use your questioning skills to uncover any built-up tension. It will surely make for a much happier and less stressful holiday.
Onward and Upward,
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